It’s so normal to see a parent or grandparent holding a baby’s hands over his head while the baby walks – or pretends to walk. I say “pretends” because until a baby can walk without help, she can’t actually walk. People believe that babies need this help and it’s common for babies to come to believe it as well. This is, however, a bio-mechanical error….
I was fortunate to be oriented to RIE’s Educaring® Approach before my first child was born, and a few months afterward joined Magda Gerber’s parent-infant class, before he could walk. Because of her teaching, I trusted that when my son could do it, he would walk without being “helped” or even “encouraged.” Of course, parents give positive attention as their children try new things, but when it comes to basic skills, being too “encouraging” can mean that we are pushing a dare-devil attitude. I was glad my children were more thoughtful about what risks they would take as they worked on their movement skills. As it turned out, my son walked early, but Magda’s lesson stuck with me so that I was un-worried when my second child didn’t take her first steps until after her first birthday.
Magda taught that “babies always do what they can do.” If a baby is not yet walking, it is because some part of the body or brain, or both, are not yet wired up. Maybe there is a weakness in one ankle; maybe everything is plenty strong, but the neurological organization is a few synapses short of integration, so that the coordination of body parts is not yet ready. Doing things to assist may make it look like the baby is more skilled, but this may not be having the intended effect. It interferes with the child’s foot alignment and gait development, by lessening their full connection to gravity. “Help” may also undermine the baby’s self-confidence and sense of safety and responsibility for her own body if adults are too eager to speed her to the next milestone. The point is not when a skill is achieved, but how. Fully exploring each stage as it unfolds prepares the way for the next to emerge with grace and confidence.
I have observed many children in my classes who did not walk until well into the second year but were not “delayed” by any abnormal developmental issue that needed therapy. There is a very wide range of what is “normal” though a narrow range for what is “average.” These children were content to crawl until they could walk. Crawling is the preparation for walking. It switches on the cross-lateral brain connections and muscle groups need for the next stage, and develops the posture needed for comfortable upright locomotion. I’m actually happy to see babies prolong the crawling stage because when they do walk, they are steadier and fall less often than the ones who rush into walking. Children who walk without first crawling (usually because they have been placed in a sitting position by adults) may have less well-developed cervical and lumbar curves that are important for healthy posture than children who have not been “helped.”
If you are interested in learning more about natural unassisted movement development, there are plenty of resources in the RIE.org bookstore. As I concluded the chapter on this topic in my book, Respecting Babies: A Guide to Educaring for Parents and Professionals, “While acknowledging parents’ and other adults’ well-meaning desire to be helpful, trusting infants and toddlers to be completely in charge of their own movement development may seem radical. It certainly flouts the general perception of babies as helpless creatures who need adults to do everything for them.” If you want to truly encourage your babies, try holding back on giving too much help, and take pleasure in what they are able to do right now. Their job is to learn to walk; yours is to relax and appreciate their process!